Mario Gets Owned: Bowser's Revenge
by Sonata-Time-Nocturne-Flare-Aoi
Summary: Complete! Mario has a heck of a time getting through World 1, Stage 1 of the original Super Mario Bros. game. Will he be able reach the castle, or will he face utter humiliation? Rated T for language.


**Mario Gets Owned: Bowser's Revenge**

**By**: Master Jin Sonata

**Genre**: Humor

**Written**: December 2006

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**Author's Note**: I've edited a few errors I've found shortly after this was posted.

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**Disclaimer**: I don't own Mario or Nintendo for that matter.

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**Super Mario Brothers**

**World 1-1**

**Lives x 3**

"**Huh? Where am I?"** Mario asked, as he suddenly appeared on a brick road in a strange new world. **"And why am I so short?"**

Mario looked around for any signs of a building he could go to and ask someone what was going on. He squints and notices a small castle off in the distance.

"**Bingo!"** he said, as he began running down the brick path.

Out of nowhere, a goomba walking toward him appears in Mario's path. Mario tries to slide to a halt, but runs into it and falls off the side of the road.

**Super Mario Brothers**

**World 1-1**

**Lives x 2**

"**W-what…just happened?"**

Mario was back at the very spot he first appeared at.

"**The last thing I remember was slamming into a walking pile of brown turd…"** he said, scratching his head. **"No matter, I'll just jump over it this time around."**

So with that said, Mario runs down the road once more, leaping over the goomba he encountered earlier. He soon came to a bunch of bricks floating in mid-air with question marks drawn into them. Mario looked up and stared at them for a minute.

"_Weird…"_ he thought. _"I wonder if anything's inside of them."_

Mario took a few steps back before running up and punching one of the airborne bricks. When he did so, a brown mushroom popped out of it and began moving on its own.

"**Ohhh, so these things give you food! Sounds good to me!"** Mario said, licking his lips as he began to case down the mobile-mushroom.

Little did Mario know that the mushroom was heading straight for that gomba he encountered earlier. The mushroom made contact with it, causing the goomba to grow 5x its normal size.

"**Mama-mia! That mushroom made him hu—"** Mario began to saw in awe, before the giant goomba suddenly jumped onto him and gobbled him down in one fell-swoop.

**Super Mario Brothers**

**World 1-1**

**Lives x 1**

Mario was back at the same spot again.

"**I don't know what's going on, but I'm gonna get that growing-mushroom this time!"**

Mario proceeds to leap over the goomba, and punch the brick that gives out the mushroom. It landed on Mario, which made him grow into his normal-sized self.

"_Now that's more like it! Now to get on to that castle!"_

Mario continued his way down the road where he saw a bunch of large green pipes lined up in font of him.

"_This is one odd place,"_ Mario thought, as he leapt onto one of the pipes. _"Once down in these things anyway?"_ he wondered, sticking his head down into the pipe's hole.

In a matter of seconds a Piranha Plant from within shot up and chomped Mario in the face.

"**Yyyeeeeaaaaaooooowwwww!"** Mario screamed as he shot out of the pipe and landed on the ground next to it. He then began to shrink down to his previous tiny-state.

"**Oh meat-balls, now I'm small again! This place is too dangerous! I must get to that castle soon!" **

Mario got up and continued his way forward, where he came up to a moderate-sized pit in the road.

"_Just need a good running start and I can make it across."_

Mario again takes a few steps back, and gets a good running start as he attempts to jump across the ravine.

**BAM!!!**

Instead, Mario runs face-first into a brick-block that appeared out of nowhere. This time it spawned a green mushroom.

"**Oh good, another mushroom! Now I can be big again! Come to papa!"** Mario says as he shakes off the dizziness from the impact and starts chasing down the green mushroom.

However, he forgot about the ravine and winds up accidentally chasing the mushroom down into the ravine with it.

**Super Mario Brothers**

**World 1-1**

**Lives x 1**

**(He managed to snag the 1-up shroom before he fell to his death)**

Back at the start again

"_Alright, that's it, no more games. I'm making it to that castle even if it kills me!"_

Over the goomba and after the mushroom, over the pipes and over the ravine, Mario was once step closer to getting to his goal.

"**Yikes!"** Mario exclaimed as a group of goombas and koopa-troopas where heading toward him.

"_Maybe one of these blocks will give something to stop these things,"_ Mario thought, as he began bashing bricks until a flashing star popped out of one of them. Mario grabbed it and began shining brightly in different colors.

"**Whoo, I feel the power!"** Mario exclaims as he begin plowing through the groups of enemies. Learning from his previous mistakes, he leaps another ravine a few more pipes before coming toward a large stairway just before he got tot the castle. He leaped up the staircase and when he reached the top, he saw a giant flagpole sitting in front of the castle.

"**Looks like the only way to get to the castle is to get past that pole. Here we go!"** Mario says, as he runs and jumps with all of his might.

**CLANG!!!**

Mario's eyes were wide-open in shock as he had landed straight on top of the pole, which stabbed him right in his meat-balls. He fell off the pole like a petrified rock into the side of the road.

**Super Mario Brothers**

**World 1-1**

**Lives x 0**

Mario ripped off his overalls in complete anger and rage and immediately charged full-speed down the road once again. This was Mario's last chance to get to the castle before all of his lives ran out.

He stomped onto the first goomba and grabs the mushroom. He jumps over the ravine and stops and picks up the flower he missed on his previous runs. He proceeds to grab the super-star and continues plow through the enemies like a bulldozer while shooting fireballs at them. He makes it up the staircase and jumps, grabbing onto the pole and sliding down.

"**Yes! I finally made it!"** Mario cheered as he strutted into the castle's entrance.

That's when he heard a ticking noise.

"**Huh? What's all of this………………DYNAMITE?!?!!?"**

**KABLAM!!!!!!!!!!!**

The entire castle implodes with Mario in it, crumbling into a heap of wreckage in seconds.

**Game Over**

**Continue?**

Bowser sets down the controller and gets off the couch, walking up to his Nintendo console and turning off the power.

"**That's what you get for all the years of trouble you gave me on my quest to rule the Mushroom Kingdom, bitch!"** Bowser says before he walks off laughing evilly with satisfaction.

**The End**

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_**Whatcha think? Please review!**_

Read the sequel to this fic: **Mario Gets Owned 2: Bowser's New Game**, already up!


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